Old Village Jokes

Most stories are based on real people and events. These are occasionally mixed with jokes and stories from other villages.

Real Stories from Lurucina (Lurucina’dan Gerçek Hikayeler)

Artun Zeki Gökşan
Born in 1960 in Lurucina, Artun Zeki Gökşan lived in his village up to the age of 18. He went to the primary school in Lurucina. He then went on to study at The English School in Nicosia for two years. He continued his studies at Türk Maarif Koleji in Nicosia after 1974.

He graduated from Hacettepe University in Ankara as a Mathematician. In 1990 he migrated to the UK where he worked as a journalist for over 15 years. His hard work and perceptive journalism helped his appointment as Editor in Chief for both Toplum Postasi and Londra Gazete newspapers respectively.
During his career as a journalist, he created his own style of writing in the Turkish Cypriot dialect on his comedy pages named ‘Giynik’, ‘Gazzik’ and finally ‘Zizziro’. He is currently continuing his work on Facebook by creating a group called ‘Zizziro Mizah Gazeddasi’. In a very short time the site has attracted an amazing number of just under one thousand members, and is still growing. The reason is due to his immensely humorous style of writing.

Artun seems to capture the culture and habits of the people of Lurucina like few people have. His immense talent for putting his observations into the unique mixture of Greek and Turkish Cypriot dialects are a joy to read. For those who had the good fortune to have lived and experienced the way of life in Lurucina will quickly recognise the witty and comical style. Just as important is the maintenance and continuation of his unique style to new generations of Cypriots. Though all the funny stories are related to the people who lived in Lurucina, I feel his stories will find equal appreciation from all Cypriots.
His own description of the language is “Lurucadiga Greek and Turkish”.
He writes jokes about anything and everything directly relating to the Cypriot dialect.
Artun Gökşan is married with 4 children. He speaks Fluent English, Turkish and Greek and he has no hesitation in mixing all three in one joke or story. The result is an irresistible style that is unique and will no doubt have most people falling of their chairs with laughter.

Last but not least a massive thank you for his generosity in sharing his humour and talent on this site. This site and the folklore of Lurucina is no doubt richer with the stories and jokes of Artun Zeki Gökşan

To follow Artun’s work please join his facebook site on.
www.facebook.com/groups/zizziro

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English translation of the stories
No doubt the translation into English in one respect completely loses the style, manner and essence of the Cypriot mix of Turkish and Greek languages. Only by understanding these 2 Cypriot languages and ways of the Cypriot way of life can one truly appreciate or understand the stories as told by Artun. Nevertheless many readers who cannot read or understand one or the other language often write and ask what the stories are about. An attempt has been been to explain this. Artun has thankfully given his blessing to the translation even at the risk of losing the original humour of his stories. A few that make no sense in the translation have however been left as they are.

Greek: Eşi muyan…

Enas beladis myan imeran odan egahedun sdon gavenen du Fayikki, fonaksen don gavecin narddi:
– E Fayikki, ela olan enan lepton!
– İnda mboşi re?
… – Ela tha olan! Baradira! Eşi muyan mesdon gaven!
O Fayikkis osson ce agusen bos işen muyan mesdon gaven, e sdahigen ce lalidu beladi:
– İnda eheles naşi mesa? Gamilon?

English: There is a fly…

One day a customer went to the coffee house of Fayik, after he was served coffee he called to Fayik to come over for a minute. ”What’s up he asked”. The customer said ”look in the cup, there is a fly in the coffee”. As soon as Fayik heard this he stood up and replied, ”so what did you expect in it, a camel’?

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Turkish: Eşşeklerdir

Dayım İsmail Bekir Gaççari, güçüğkan babasının, amcasının davarlarına giderdi. Bir gün Mehmet amcası ile eşşeklere binmişler, yavaş yavaş Gafgalla’daki mandralara doğru gidellerdi.
İsmail dayımın soğukdan barsakları şişdi, ossurmak isder amma, Mehmet amcasından utanırdı. Bir ara eşşekler ossuruk admaya başlayınca, dayım da onların arasında göverirsa ağnaşılmaz deyerek gendini sıkmakdan vazgeşdi. Mehmet amca gürültüyü duyunca gülerek:
– Ne ossurun bre keratta?
– Ben değilim amca, eşşeklerdir!..
– Hehhe! Ne bre deyyus! Eşşeklerin ossuruğunu tanımayık?

English: It’s the donkeys

When my uncle Ismail İsmail Bekir Gaççari was a young boy he used to go and help look after the sheep herd of his uncle Mehmet. One day Ismail and his uncle Mehmet was riding on the donkey’s near the sheep pen at Gafgalla. Ismail had a tummy ache and needed to fart, but was a bit concerned in case his uncle heard him. No sooner had his donkey farted he found the opportunity to relieve himself. No sooner had his uncle heard the noise, he turned round and said ”why you farting g you rascal”. ”It wasn’t me uncle he replied”. His uncle laughed and responded ”why you rascal, you think I don’t know the difference between your’s and a donkeys farts”.

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This particular story is based on the amazing number of nicknames given to families and individuals. Each and every person in this story did actually have a nickname of an animal. For example if an individual was quick or sharp-eyed it would have earned him a nickname, ”quick as a cat ” would become ‘Gatto”, sharp eyed and swift could have earned him the name ”Eagle” Kartal in Turkish or ado in Greek. In this story Artun makes up a story that someone is looking for his friends or relatives. He uses families that had nicknames of animals and creates a funny story around this aspect of our culture that was very common in those days

Turkish: Hayvanat bahcası

Gıbrıslı Türklerin meşhur keman usdası Lurucinalı Gülferi, hayatının son dönemlerini Londra’da geçirdi. Londra’da oğullarıyla birlikde gurduğu ‘Gülferiler’ müzik grubu ve ‘longplay’ olarak çıkardığı ‘Kıbrıs Oyun Havaları’ adlı çalışmasıyla herkesin gönlünde tahd gurduydu.
Gülferi aynı zamanda çok yardımsever bir insanıdı. Londra’da galdığı büyük, bol odalı evi çoğu zaman bir hotel gibiydi. Gıbrıs’dan gelenner, gidecek yeri olmayannar hep gider, Gülferi’nin evinde galıllardı.
Bir gün Lurucinalı ahbaplarını arayan Galeburnulu bir gişi, sora sora Gülferi’nin evine gelir. Kapıyı çalar. Kapıyı açan Gülferi usdadır.
… – Nesderdin oğlum?
– Merhaba amca! Kartal bundadır?
– Yok.
– Gatto?
– O da yok.
– Ado da gelmedi bura?
– Yok o da gelmedi.
– Ya dediler be şu Gufo hem Muya bundaymış.
Gülferi usda, Galeburnulu isim saydık sonra, gülmeye başlar. Galeburnulu merak eder:
– Ma n’oldu amca da gülen? Sgilli da bunda değil?
– Ma ne be amma sen zaneddin da buracığı hayvanat bahcasıdır?

English: The Zoo

The well known violinist of Lurucina Gülferi lived most of his later life in London. Together with his sons he produced many great discs of Cypriot folk music which won the hearts of many. Gülferi was also a very generous and helpful person. He lived in a big house which at times seemed like a hotel as many people coming from Cyprus or homeless friends stayed at his house.
One day a chap from Kaleburnu came looking for his Lurucina relatives. Gulferi opened the door and the Kaleburnu man asked him if Kartal (the eagle) was there. Gulferi said he was not. ”What about Gatto” (the cat”?
Gülferi replied that he was not there.
”Has Ado (the hawk)been to your house”?
”No he hasn’t come either”
”but they told me that Gufo (the owl) and Muya (the fly) were here
Gülferi started to count the names and began to smile,
The chap curiously asked him ”what are you smiling about uncle” and asked if ”sgili’ (the dog ) was there.
Gülferi then responded by saying ”what do you think it is here a zoo or something”?

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Turkish: Sen da aleyhime?

Gaveci Faik dayı bir sabah, Lurucina’daki gavesini aşdığında çok sinirliydi. Genni o gün ne gızdırdıysa, her önüne geleninan gavga eder, laf söyler, üsdüne gelennere da söverdi.
Sinirleri bireccik yatışsın deye, gavedeki rafda duran patariyalı radiyosunu aşmak isdedi. Radiyonun düymesini çevirdi. Ankara Radiyosu da o vakıd Türk sanat müziği çalardı. Faik dayı radiyoyu açarkandan spiker:
– Sevgili dinleyiciler, şimdi de bestekar Hacı Faik Bey’den eserler dinleyeceksiniz.
Fayık dayı bunu duyarkandan tam sarasına uğradı. Radiyoyu kaparkandan yere vurdu:
– Pezzevengi! Etişmez beni sinirim, sen da aleyhime?

English: You are also against me?

The coffee shop owner Faik opened his shop one day, but seemed in a very angry mood.. Whoever came to his coffee shop that day was on the receiving end of his temper, if anyone answered back he simply swore at them.
One person decided to calm things down a bit by turning on the battery operated radio and tuned in to Ankara Radio for some traditional Turkish music. By some strange coincidence the speaker on the radio announced that ”today we shall play some music from the composer Haci Faik bey”. No sooner had Faik the coffee shop owner heard this he became furious, picked up the radio and smashed it on the floor. ”You pimp!” he said, ”is it not enough I’m so angry you have to be against me also?”.

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Aysdon aysdon… (leave him leave him)

O Cefalalis idan galos filos medon dedemmu don Gaççarin. Banda ergedun boci sdo sbidindu dedemu, ce gahundan sindihannan, ce gabodes ebinnan ce gamyan.
Alla o Cefalalis odan egahedun basdin tsaeran, isdera bu nakkon e bocimadun. Etsi bale myan imeran, odan egahedun medon Gaççarin, e bocimihigen basdin tsaeran, e gremmasdigan da şili du gado carginisen na lohharizzi. Odilloyis cane battennen, ules i muyes e sinağundan basda şilidu, odan e bocimadun. Osson ce bocimihigen, lali i nenemu i Dudu:
– Osbollâde! Edon bu e bocimihigen bale! Ksibnadon mori!
O Gaççaris yelondas lali dis yenegas du dis Dudus:
– Aysdon aysdon! Cenna meffigi ude myan muyan dora! Ennades gaharisi!..

Cefalali was a good friend of my granddad Gaççari, he always used to visit him and they had long chats together. Occasionally they would drink a little together, but Cefalali often used to feel dozy and nodded of on the chair while granddad talked to him. He often snored and his mouth used to stay wide open, somehow the flies used to land on his lips.
My grand mother Dudu used to ask granddad Gaççari to wake him up.
”leave him, leave him to sleep” he replied ”at this rate we won’t have any more flys left”.

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Yadi oksa ennasu gyâvasi? (why or is he going to read to you)?

İ fellaes e yirizzan da horga ce ğorazzan cinon dudon. Odan irdasin sdin Lurucinan, o Deliyos işen enan ğğaron dis bulisis. O fellas baradirisen boci boğa, aresen du o ğaros, abofasisen na do ağorasi. Bano gado, e ksiğihigan medon Deliyon.
Odan e bodavrisan da şergadus ce tokkaran ya na delyosun din bulisin du ğaru, o fellas baradira, donan du ammadin du ğaru idan sando sdravon. Etsi sane tokkaren, e biyen na davrisi do şerindu biso, ce lalidu Deliyu:
– Manda olân! En andrebese cenna mu bulisis do ğğaron medo ammadin sdravon?
O Deliyos, thihos na hamnisi do şerindu fella, lalidu:
– Yadi oksa ennasi gyâvasi ahemeriyan?

The gypsies often traveled around the villages to buy this and that, once they came to Lurucina. Deliyo had a donkey for sale. The gypsy checked the donkey up and down and offered to buy it. They started to shake hands on the deal. The gypsy than noticed that of the the donkeys eyes looked like it was blind, he pulled his hand away and told Deliyo ”You should be ashamed of yourself selling me a half blind donkey”. Deliyo replied ” what you worried about, its not like he is going to read you the newspaper ”.

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When the Turkish Cypriots first came to the UK they found the word ”shut up” a bit strange as it sounded like Şarap (pronounced Sharap in English or wine in Turkish, consequently many children and adults often used the Turkish word to say Şarap. (shut-up). Children off-course did not always understand this difference as they were born in the UK. Artun seems to have played on this to create a small story

Şarap…(Wine)

Barışcığım 5-6 yaşlarında bişeyidi. Bir gün bir arkadaşları ziyarete gideceydik. Yolda giderkan bir şişe da şarap alıp götürelim dedik. Yolda uygun bir yerde durduk, Cemile arabadan indi, bir şişe şarap alıp geldi. Annesi arabaya gelince Barış sordu:
– Anne, ma ne aldın?
– Şarap.
… Barış ağlamaya başladı. Ansızdan ne olduğunu, neçin ağlamaya başladığını ağnayamadık.
– N’oldun babam? Ne ağlan şimdi?
Barış ağlamaklı bir halinan cevap verdi:
– Sordum anneme ne aldı, da dedi bana ‘Shut-up’!..

My son Baris was about 5-6 years old . One day we were visiting a friend, on the way we decided to buy a bottle of wine to take to our friend. My wife Cemile got out the car and bought a bottle of wine.On her return to the car, Baris asked ”what did you buy”? ”Sharap (wine)” she replied. Baris started to cry, we were not too sure why he suddenly started to cry. We asked what was wrong, he said I just asked my mum what she bought and she told me to sharup (shut-up).

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Varisen…(Getting heavy)

O Bittordos (Musdafa Bitordo) odan embin sdin iligiyan, arosdisen ce eppesen sdo grevadin. İdan ce nakkon basdos, alla budin arosgân e basdinen barabano. İ yenega du i Razgeli, da bethga du, i ğidoni, i horgani erggundan ya na don thun, na du busin berasdiga.
Myan imeran irdden ci Melekku ya na bi berasdiga. Egatsen nakkon, din oran bu idan nna fiyi, lali dis yenegas du Bittordu dis Razgelis:
– E varisen o Musdafas gori Razgeli. Etsi don horo eyoni…
O Bittordos agusen inda mbu iben i Melekku. Aman ce efiyen ce biyen, lali dis yenegas du:
– Ma vallis ifdin du laomenu? Ya e bellanen delya dudi, ya en delya stravi! Emme hori odi e yiniga sando grommio-fillon, ce lalisu e varisa?

When Mustafa Bitordo was old he became ill and was bed ridden. He was always a bit skinny but after his illness he lost even more weight. His wife Razgeli, his children were often with him. His neighbors often visited to wish him well.
One day a Melleku came to wish him well, she sat a while, and just as she was leaving she told Mustafa’s wife Razgeli that she thought he had put on a bit of weight, on hearing this Mustafa waited for Melleku to leave. He turned and told his wife ”don’t listen to the idiot, she has either gone blind or stupid, can’t she see I’ve become as thin as a spring onion leaf and she tells you I’m putting on weight”.

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En gadalavennun Englezziga…(they don’t understand English)

İdan galocerin. Cindo hronon, i Emine (Bede), i gori du Gaççari, biyen sdin Gibrun bu do Londinon me da mora ce me don andrandis. E minisgan sdin Lurucinan sda sbiggâ du yeru.
O Gaççaris, din nihdan eppefden mesdin avlin. İşen din gargoluan du came gadayira budun o furnos. Da gobellugya ci Emine, eppefdan mesdin thihorin.
Myan nnihdan odan eppesan, o Gaççaris agusen don Bekirin don angonan du, ce sindihannen sane cimadun. E mallonnen me gadi mesdo grevadin. İşa e fonaksen dis gorisdu:
… – Ra Mine! Manda mbo bahen do moron?
– Dibode buba. Faaandon da gunubga alobos ce ksidimazzi dus!
– Eh! Ma be du, da gunubga duda ence gadalavennun Englezziga! Yacinon ceffevgun!..

It was summer that year when Emine Bede the daughter of Gaççari went to Lurucina from London with her children and her husband. They stayed at her fathers house. Gaççari used to sleep in the garden, near the mud brick oven.
One night Gaççari heard his grandson Bekiri talk in his sleep. He was fighting with some one in his dream. He called out to his daughter ”Hey Mine what’s wrong with the boy”?
”nothing dad, maybe the flies are annoying him and he is swearing at them”.
”Well you better tell him the flies here don’t understand English that’s why they wont go away”.

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The fluency of the people of Lurucina in speaking Greek was well known in Cyprus. Strangely though they all did they occasionally used this in an unusual way to accuse their neighbors of being underhanded and untrustworthy. It was a bit like the old saying ”Beware of Greeks bearing gifts”. It was customary in Cyprus for the ethnic communities to mistrust each others attitude. Being simple they occasionally assumed this would give them the upper hand even in a court of law. This was one such case.

Urumdur… (He is a Greek)

Lurucinalı İsmail Barbaroz’unan Çoşgun Halil Musdahuri, bir tarla gavgası yüzünden mahgemelik olmuşlar. Davanın görülmesi için Lefgoşa Gaza Mahgemesi yargıcının garşısına çıkmışlar. Hakim davayı okumuş, tarafları dinlemiş, garar kesmek için mola isdemek üzeredir. Tam bu arada Çoşgun elini galdırmış:
– Hakim bey! Bişey söyleyebilirim?
– Buyur Coşgun bey. Tabii da söyleyebilin!
… Çoşgun, Barbarozu gösdererek hakime:
– Hakim bey! Bu gördüğün adamın NENESİ Urumdur!..
Bunun üzerine Barbaroz ayağa gakar:
– Hakim bey! Ben da bişey söyleyebilirim?
– Buyur İsmail bey! Sen da söyle bakalım!
– Doğrudur hakim bey! Benim nenem Urumdur. Amma bu gördüğün adamın GENDİSİ Urumdur!..

Ismail Barbaros from Lurucina and Çoşgun Halil Musdahuri, once had an argument over a land dispute. They went to court to settle their argument. For this they had to go to the Nicosia District court.
The judge read out the case and after all was said the judge called an adjournment in order to decide the case. At that moment Çoşgun lifted his hand and asked to say something.
”Yes off-course” said the judge.
Çoşgun pointed to Ismail Barbaros and said ”Judge this mans grandmother is a Greek”.
Ismail immediately put his hand up and requested to speak.
Okay said the judge ”you can also say something”.
”Its true judge that my grandmother is Greek, but this man himself is Greek!

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Anamedaksimmas berna!..

O Bittordos (Musdafa Bitordo) e bulen boğulla sdo mahazzindu. Bulen ce tsiyara. Dodes da tsiyara e bulyundan ce medo enan.
O Rayifis dis Seferus (Rayıf Seferu) idan beladis daimicis. Banda e ğorazzen tsiyara budon Bittordon. Ebgânnen 2-3 gaha volan, egovgen da budin mesin, ce gabnizzenda medo galamuin du.
Myan imeran bale, odan e biyennen sdon Bittordon, ivren hame enan balyon paran, enan ‘feslin’ bu e lalusan i balyi. Biyen vurindos isdon Bittordon:
… – Re Musdafa! Ozmu ğliyora bucame driya ‘Lakidri’ (Lucky Dream) ce brebi nabağo, eho vulyan!
Odan ebgâsen da tsiyara du bu don Bittordon, eogen du don ‘feslin’, ce babutsin a hahigen bucame o Rayifis. O Bittordos baradira, enan balyon ‘feslin’. Eniben dibodes, evalendo bugado budin gaşan bu evallen da riyalya du.
Yirisonda meran, o Rayifis irdden bale na ağorasi tsiyara. Ebiren da tsiyara du, ce eogen enan thiblo selinon. O Bittordos, odan du eogen da luvisda biso, evalen cedo ‘feslin’ mesa. Bgânni da luvisda o Rayifis, baradira, odan iyen do ‘feslin’, lalidu:
– Ma re Musdafa! Dudon bu mu eoges e ‘feslin’. Em berna!..
Yelasen o Bittordos ce lalidu:
– Anamedaksimmas berna Rayifi, anamedaksimmas berna!..

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Biyen ce volisen…

Brin do 74, o komutanis (thigiidis) don sdradiodon sdin Lurucinan, idan ce komutanis dus ullus dus horganus. Cinos e gumandarisgen odi cane
yenedun. Eogen thiadağin, obgos e sindihannen Romega, ebreben na bgôrosi gyô selinya ya gaha leksin bu e lalen. Abağorepsen dus Lurucades na sindihannun Romega!
Ma bgôs! İ yeri bale cinon bu ekseran e gamnasin. Afis Durciga ene kseran! İnda mbudun na gamun?
O dedezmu o Gaççaris, myan imeran ibemmas myan isdoriyan ya dudin din guvendan. Elade na gusumen din isdoriyan dudin, budon ithiyon don Gaççarin:
… “Gahumasdon cames du Argondi gambosi ce sindihannamen. İdan şimonas, evreşen ce işen ce griyodin bollin, vaohigamen ulli mesdon gavenen ce bernusamen din orammas.
İdan co anipşozmu o Barboros cahame. Bayi ganenas na bi dibode, işa bedassedun o Barboros:
– O theos budo gagon amma, govgo do lâkkirdissu…
Ce lalen gambosa. Aman ce delyonnen nabumen, biyennen ganenas allos na bi dibodes, işa e bedassedun bale:
– O theos budo gagon amma, govgo do lâkkirdissu…
Obgôs e maşedun na bi gadi, o Barboros enegadonnedun! Ene finnen ganenan na bi dibodes. Osson ce negadohigen bale, işa egopsadon eyo dundivvolan! Lalodus:
– Re gobelya! Ma alobos encagusede do neon do cunurgon!
– İndamboni Bekiri, bemas naumen!
– Dudos o komutanis bu irden dora, kserido odi bale anamedaksimmas sindihannumen Romega. İben ammas agusi o ithiyos bu sindihannumen Romega, enna gadevasi des vrages da ççattalya mas, cobgôs ennen sunnettin, ennadon beksi!..
Bodiliğede o Barboros bucame, biyen sdo Gatsimon ce volisen! Endon iyamen gamboson ceron!..”

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Ayya uşşi…

1974 öncesinde köye atanan Lurucina’daki Mücahitlerin Türkiyeli komutanı, yalınız asgerlerin değil, köydeki herkesin komutanıydı. Herşeye hükmeden komutan, köyde Rumca gonuşmaya da yasak getirdiydi. Rumca gonuşanlara kelime başına iki şilin ceza kesilmesini emreddiydi.
Bir gün Yusuf dayı (Yusuf Ado) eşşeğinin üsdünde ovadan köye dönüyordu. Köyün girişinde, esgi mezarlığın yanında, asgerlerin nöbet beklediği, bazan polislerin da görev yapdığı barikat varıdı.
Yusuf dayı buracıya yanaşınca, eşşek n’olduysa, yerdeki çayıra eğildi, yörümez. Yusuf dayı eşşeğe:
… – Yörrüü… Gıbırdaaa… deye bağırır.
Eşşek annamadığı dile cuvap vermez. Otlamaya devam eder. Yusuf dayı, eşşeğe annadığı lisanda gonuşsa, barikata yakın olduğu için duyulacak, ceza yeycek. Bireccik daha sabreder, eşşeği kagmalamaya, dürtüklemeye çabalar. Eşşek hiiç, keyifinan ot yemeye devam eder.
Yusuf dayı ne yapsa olmaz. Gayrık dayanamaz ve eşşeğe bir bağırma atar:
– Ayya uşşi…
Eşşek hemen doğrulur ve barikata doğru yanaşır. Türkiyeli komutan da orada. Yusuf dayıyı durdurur:
– Amca! Kusura bakma, Rumca konuştuğunu duydum. Anladığım kadarıyla iki kelime kullandın. Sana dört şilin ceza kesiyorum.
Yusuf dayı gızgın, amma n’apsın! Gızgın haliynan gülümsemeye çalışarak komutana:
– Komutanım! Hade bu eşşekdir ağnamaz deye ona Türkça öğredemedim! Sen da bunun gibiysan, dört değil, sekiz şilin vereyim sana!..

Before 1974 the Lurucinali Mucahits (Mujahiddeen soldiers) were under the command of an officer from Turkey, in many respects hewas also the commander of the whole village. At that time most Lurucadi used to speak in Gree, the commander decided to stop this and brought a fine of 2 shillings for each word.
One day uncle Yusuf Ado was returning to the village from his fields. On entering Lurucina near the old cemetery. At that time there was also an army barricade there. On this day the donkey stopped and started to eat the grass on the roadside. Uncle Yusuf was shouting at him in Turkish to get up and move, to no avail.
Uncle Yusuf finally lost his temper, kicked the donkey and shouted at him in Greek ”Ayya uşşi”. The donkey finally moved, the Commander overheard the swearing however and stopped Yusuf telling him that he heard 2 Greek words, therefore he had to fine him 4 shillings. Uncle Yusuf looked at him and said ” C’mon officer, this is a donkey and cannot understand Turkish, if you can make him understand Turksh instead of Greek I will pay you not 4 shillings but eight”.

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GİBRİAGA ce ELLİNİGA… (Cypriot & Greek)

İdan brin do 74. Enas Durgo-Gibriyos, san bollus allus neus dis Gibrus, e biyen ce vulevgen basda bliya da Elliniga. Odan do bliyon e gondepsen senan abo da limanya, o gabidanos iben odi do bliyon idan na berimeni sdo limanin yia meriges imeres. Dodes iben dus neus na ban na ogun enan yyiron ce nardun.
O Durgo-Gibrios neos riyalya ene graden. Brin na gadevi abo do bliyon, lali du Ellina du gabidanu:
– Re gabidano! Do ççattalin i bunga riyalya eneşi!
O gabidanos ene gadalaven dibodes. Lalidu neu:
… – Di lez re bethimu?
– Do ççattalin i bunga lalosu, riyalya eneşi!
O gabidanos gidazzi don neon mesda mudra. Ude leksin en gadalavi bale. O neos ksana eksiğa, alla siğa siğa dundin volan. Hemi lali hema thiğni:
– Do ççattalin…
– Do bandalonin…
– İ bunga…
– Do dzebin…
– Riyalya…
– Paran… Endaksi vre! Dora se gadalava! Sdo bandalonin mesas sdo dzebin paran then ibarhi!..
– Hıh!. Pantalon!. Cep!. Para!. İnda vre pezzevengi! Helis nasu sindihanno Durciga?

It was before 1974 and a Turkish Cypriot youth like many at that time used to go and work on the ships. When the ship was close to port the captain announced they would be there for a few days. He ordered the youngsters to just have a look around and come back to the ship. The Turkish Cypriot youth however had no money, he called out to the captain in Greek Cypriot dialect ”I have no fork in the pocket”. The Greek captain called out ”What are talking about son”, The youth repeatred the same words this time talking and making hand signs.
The fork, (çhattalin)
the trousers (bandalonin)
the pocket (İ bunga)
the money (Riyalya
”Ah the para (money in Turkish & mainland Greek) now I understand, you don’t have any money in your pocket.
Peh, Pantalon!. Cep!. Para!. bloody pimp, di you want me to ask you in Turkish so you can understand??

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Sinekler…

Bir gün tumufilde giderkana, gızım Ayten sordu:
– Baba, how do you say ‘time flies’ in Turkish?
Ben da o vakıd, muzziplik olsun deye:
… – Zaman sinekler!.. dedim.
Nebileyim oşu çocuk gidecek ve Türk okulundaki sınıfında yazdığı kompozisyonda ‘zaman sinekler’ kelimelerini gullanacak! Öğretmeni Meryem Koray tabii gülmekden gırıldı:
– Nerden buldun be Ayten bu zaman sinekleri?
– Babam söyledi… demesin mi bizim Ayten!
Çocukdan al haberi deller ya.. Rezzil eddi bizi iki tayikada!..

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Çocuuk!.. (A baby)

Babam Zeki Hasan Efendi’nin en büyük evlâdı benim. Ondan sonra gardaşım Birtan gelir. Annem bizi doğurduğu zaman, babam da köyde, iki dane ‘oğlu’ olduğu için ‘erkek adamın erkek oğlu olur’ havalarında gabara gabara gezer, oğluları olmayannara hava atar, sırası geldikce da lafcığını tokandırırmış.
Neysa! Annem üçüncü çocuğa gebe. Babam ille gene oğlan isder. Annem tabii üçüncü çocuğun gız olduğunu iddia eder. ‘Bu gebelik obirlerinden değişikdir. Bu bir defa oğlan değil, gızdır’ der.
Zaman gelir, annem doğurur. Dünyaya gelen bu defa gızgardeşimiz Cansen’dir. Babam, iki dane oğlu olmasına rağmen, annemin gız doğurmasına sevinmez. Bu yüzden birkaş gün gavelere çıkmaz, ortalıklarda görünmez.
… Aradan 3-5 gün geşdikden sonra gaveye giddiğinde, arkadaşlarından biri onu heyecanınan garşılar:
– Ma nerdesin be Zeki? Hayırlısı olsun yahu. Duyduk garın doğum yapmış. Ne eddi be, oğlan yoksa gız?
Babam sorulan soruyu hiç beyenmemiş. Asık suratınan tepgili bir cevap vermiş:
– Çocuuk!..

I’m the oldest child (Artun) of my father Zeki Hasan efendi. Then my brother Birtan. After we were born my father often bragged in the village that a real man had sons. He often teased others that had daughters and no sons. On her third pregnancy my mother had the feeling that this time she would have a girl. She insisted that her pregnancy was different. She was hopeful that she would finally have a girl. My father however still preferred to have more boys.
When mum finally gave birth, my sister Cansen came to world. My father was not too pleased, and for about 3-5 days he never left the house. He finally decided to go the local coffee house. One of his friiends in excitement to see my dad asked him where he had been for a few days. He told dad ”congratulations we heard that you had another baby, was it a girl or a boy”? My father being in a sulking mood did not like the question at all he simply replied ”a baby”.

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O Velis du Mandayi…

Simmera budo broyin, ibun na dilefoniso du anipşumu du Mehemmedi (Mehmet Berber Gökşan) sdin Lurucinan, hemi nao indambu gamni, hemi na du bo galin hronyan. Ce na bepso ce şeredizmada ce gales elbithes ullus dus horganus.
Tilefonisa du basdo ginidon, ivra don ce gahedun came sdus gavenees. İsdera bu ibamen cina bu ibamen, lalimu o Mehemmedis:
– Re Artuni, ela don anipşossu ce heli nasu bi gadi!..
… Horis na mu bi bgôs idan, e bodavrisen do delofonon sdu anipşumu. Molis e milisen, e gadalava bos idun o anipşozmu o Velis du Mandayi. Lalimu:

O Velis du Mandayi
Gubayin bgôn en bayi
Canaththeman cambayi
Cammen bayi…

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